Well its been tough these last few weeks. I have my good and my bad days, as does my husband, but no matter what we will never forget our little angel Alexis. When i go out to the store and i see babies i have to fight myself not to tear up....i hope this doesnt last forever....people are starting to look at me weird. But as you may have read in some previous post i am a recent college graduate looking for a job..since the new year i have applied for 15 jobs....and for those 15 i heard back from 10 that i had applied to before the new year..."I'm sorry but you have not been selected for the position of ________." I am starting to get discouraged...in all since i graduated last May i have applied to 85 jobs.....i got one interview....wtf. I even had a University professor help me write my cover letter...which is awesome and my resume...so i know i am representing myself well...its just my lack of experience...idk why people dont think about this...if people cant get jobs they cant get experience...but if they will train someone...if they are young they will be there for a long time prolly...so in the long run...training someone...or allowing them to gain experience would be beneficial. I am hoping that this time around i get a job with my degree....all someone needs to do is meet me...give me an interview...i will prove to them that i am the person for the job. They worry about experience but i have more life experience than most people get in a lifetime and i have a drive to succeed. I just want to get a carrer going so next time we have a baby....I will be financially set...this time we managed but the last week before i went back to work was tight.
So last night i was laying in bed and all of a sudden it felt like a huge weight had been lifted off my shoulders...idk if it was some kind of apiffany or what...but i have a feeling things are going to start getting better. I miss my little one soooo much...but i am excited to try again in a few months. I love her soooo much and i know she is watching over me...and i am glad to know that she didnt suffer....i am angry we didnt get a definate answer but maybe it means it wont happen again...idk what i would do if it did. But i know for now i am surviving, i am growing, I am changing and i will move on but never forget.
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