Still alive and unaware
37 Weeks
Thursday, January 13, 2011
Bad day
Today just seems like one of those days...maybe I should just go outside and get some sun....the snow usually makes me happy. I just miss her a lot today....I try not to dwell on the could have beens...but days like today i cant get them out of my head. I keep telling myself all i have to do is make it 8 more months until we can get pg again...thats all i want. I was so ready...unfortunately its going to be a very scary time....i wont be able to be as calm as i was before...im pretty sure until the baby starts moving i will be freaking out all the time...and then im pretty sure i will be crazy about kick counts. Ughhh. I miss Alexis quite a bit today. I think its about time to start packing up her room....im not getting rid of anything but...i just need it to be out of sight for a little while....this will get better, with time.
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Hang in there, sweetheart. Sometimes, we can only take things moment-by-moment and that's just fine. If packing up Alexis's room is too hard to do all at once, do some now and some later. Or better yet, have someone else do it so you don't have to! Breathe, remember your beautiful little girl, and know that you'll be able to be happy again in the future. Thinking of you all the time...
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