Still alive and unaware
37 Weeks
Sunday, March 13, 2011
Any day now....
When people look at me they see a relatively put together young woman with her entire life ahead of her....if they know about the loss of my little girl Alexis then they see a relatively well put together young woman...but they are just waiting for me to fall apart.....little do they know.....I am falling a little more every day. Man its getting hard....i feel worse than i did waiting the last few weeks before i was due.....its just this huge empty feeling. I feel like it may never go away....im just so sick of being sad....but i just cant make myself be truely happy...not until i have a baby in my arms....its just so hard...
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I wish I could help with the pain. I would just recommend allowing you to feel the sadness, to feel the pain, to acknowledge that not only is it normal but it's necessary to help with the healing. Hopefully we'll both have babies to hold next year, to help heal the holes in our heart that will never completely fill.
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